It's not just you: the boss is scared, too
Copyright illustration by Julian Burton of Delta7 Change
A senior team I work with wanted a couple of hours to lift their thoughts out of crisis management mode, to consider the longer-term consequences of the Covid19 pandemic. I agreed to facilitate the session and as we began, I was intrigued to discover they had adopted a new routine at the start of their virtual meetings.
Day by day, they were taking it in turns to do ‘Show and Tell’, holding up any item from their life in front of the screen and saying something about why it matters to them. They described this new team habit as a positive way to learn more about each other as full people with full lives beyond work, and expressed enjoyment at the fun involved in discovering what items colleagues would Show and Tell each morning.
The Chief Executive listened, smiled and nodded, and then said, “But d’you know what? I think I’m developing Show & Tell anxiety! What on earth can I Show & Tell when it’s my turn, and will people think it’s interesting enough? I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s quite scary!”
The conversation moved on and the 2-hour session achieved its aims. At one level, a fear of doing Show & Tell seems absurd, given the terrifying scenarios some people have been facing during the pandemic. Yet, at another level, this apparently harmless bit of ice-breaking fun in a well-functioning team is a reminder of how anxious we tend to be about what other people think of us at work.
Negative Judgement is a workplace norm, both professionally and personally. It’s so normal, we often don’t even notice it.
Yet whether we like to admit it or not, we judge each other (often negatively) a lot of the time. Not because we’re nasty; rather, it’s a human survival instinct, particularly when we’re under pressure. Yet it’s more damaging to our relationships than we sometimes realise.
When was the last time you felt negatively judged and how did this affect how psychologically safe you felt in that context? How safe does your team feel at work?
It’s great that the Chief Exec of the team I’ve been working with felt safe enough to be honest with his colleagues that Show & Tell was way out of his comfort zone. And in response, they acknowledged his openness and respected the vulnerability he was expressing.
Building this level of psychological safety took time and deliberate effort by this team, working with me over over several months. The results are constructive, candid conversations which didn’t used to happen and a growing feeling of mutual trust and support which was previously missing.
If we want to create Fearless Organisations, we need to translate the theory into practical ways of working and leading. If you’re interested in exploring how, find out more here.